Self-love has become a trend.
As much as it is heartwarming to see that more and more people — including celebs, content creators, and/or social media influencers — place emphasis on individuals’ care for themselves, many people still struggle with actually loving themselves.
It’s ironic, really. From an evolutionary perspective, we learn that humans are selfish by nature. Yet why do many, if not most, of us still struggle with self-love?
The thing about self-love becoming a trend is that it trends on social media; the thing about social media is that more often than not, it portrays only the positive side of things. The idea people have on self-love commonly includes taking time for ourselves and doing things we like.
But that’s not all.
Again, with our self-serving nature, we already practice self-love in some form. It’s subjective, really — the way we love ourselves — and it’s all equally valid. However, in order for feelings of self-love to be continuous, we have to practice it religiously.
It is more than just watching your favourite series, exercising, and/or checking off tasks on your to-do list. It is not something that happens only at a certain time of day. It is not something that takes place only when you feel like it.
Self-love is a discipline.
It is doing things our future self will thank us for- be it our self from a couple of hours later, a few days later, or even several years later. It is to take actions that make us happy, actions that motivate us, actions that help us grow.
Perhaps one of the hardest parts in practicing self-love is finding a balance between loving ourselves, and loving others.
We all have loved ones. We all have people we want to be there for, people we care about. In this case, helping them is helping us- because we care. But know that your well-being matters equally as much. We are all responsible for our own well-being, and there is only so much we can do to help another.
Self-love is setting up healthy boundaries.
It is the ability to put yourself first without feeling guilty and/or putting others down. Help them, if that’s what you want to do. But know that you can’t always be there, and make it known as well. Know that the people who are worthy to be put before ourselves, are people who would want us to put ourselves first.
Self-love is standing up for yourself.
It is the ability to say no, the ability to protect your vibe and/or energy. Recognize when others are taking advantage of your niceness, recognize when others are putting you down- don’t let them. Believe in the things you believe in, believe in yourself- and stand strong.
Self-love is knowing your worth.
Yes, we have flaws- everybody has them. No, we’re not perfect- nobody is. Acknowledge yourself. Recognize that you also have traits worthy of love, that you also have your own skillsets and expertise. No, they may not be as good as some other people- but that does not make it any less valid. Don’t devalue yourself, give yourself credit. Then, continue to strive.
Self-love is self-compassion.
The only constant is change. Regardless of how far you have come in your journey of loving and appreciating yourself, there will be days when you don’t as much- but that’s okay. Regardless if it is work, relations, or anything else, remember that you are no robot. You will make mistakes, and you will fall short- that’s all okay. Tell yourself that.
Self-love is giving yourself a chance.
Recognize when you’re sabotaging yourself from achieving something. Recognize when you’re beating yourself up. Recognize when you’re being your own enemy. Let go of the criticisms you have of yourself, let go of your past mistakes. Then, give it another shot. Go out there, try things, explore.
Self-love is giving yourself time.
It is the ability to admit that you need a break, and giving yourself just that. It is knowing that there is no need to rush. It is allowing yourself to rest, both from the expectations of others, and yourself. It is letting yourself be free.
Self-love is allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
It is knowing that you do not have to go through everything alone. It is allowing yourself to open up, it is allowing yourself to ask for help. It is allowing others to be there for you.
Yes, self-love is buying little gifts for yourself, it is preparing a nice meal for yourself, it is going for a walk in the park. But self-love is also looking after yourself when you’re sick. It is also a discipline- a discipline to always keep your well-being in mind.
Self-love takes determination and practice. The mastery of self-love happens when you no longer have to make the conscious effort of putting yourself first; when it happens naturally.
No, self-love is not at all easy; what more mastering it? But self-love is also knowing that every step counts.
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.”
— André Gide, full name André Paul Guillaume Gide
